ha ha

June 21, 2010

I’ve been spying on my kids, and I am sorely vexed.

Lemme splain. No, there is too much, lemme sum up.

I’ve got a computer at home, and it, like many home computers, accesses the Internets. So, like all good parents, I have installed technology to do my parenting for me. In short, I installed Net Nanny. And now, when I’m at work or at the ballet or something, sometimes I get little email alerts triggered by certain web activity.

For example, if someone on my home computer tries to access a website like superhotbabeswhoarealsointobaseball.com, my internet filter will send me an email, so that I can presumably shake my head sadly, and return my attention to watching the ballet.

Ha ha. That’s a joke, of course. I don’t ever go to the ballet.

Anyway. This magical technology also tells me when my kids indulge in Facebook chat/instant message activity that is potentially dangerous, bullying, filled with profanity, split infinitives, or if they misuse the word “ironic.” And the email alert I get contains the context, the lines around the “dangerous” stuff.

And you know what? Sometimes I wish the chats WERE filled with that stuff. Because instead, what I find is the horrifying, mind-numbing, ubiquitous use of “Ha Ha!”

It’s killing me.

For example.

“hey. haven’t talked to you in a long time. ha ha.”

“i know. we should hang out. ha ha.”

“ha ha. totally. call me. ha ha.”

“ha ha.”

I’m thinking of getting rid of the Internet.

Ha ha.


18 Responses to “ha ha”

  1. stevenbpt Says:

    We tried something similar with one of our daughters and verizon location locator, or something like that. It was designed to tell us if and when she left home and where she was. Turns out it told us she was home 10 minutes after we had said hi to her, same idea when she left.

    I had her phone in hand when I pushed the locator button. It said she was at school, 1/4 to 1/2 mile away. Verizon said that was all the accuracy it could give. nice waste of money. How ironic.

  2. eber Says:

    hey your blog is really funny. ha ha.

  3. stevenbpt Says:

    does net nanny provide any explantion for why “ha ha” shows up? How about LOL, you never see anyone use that one?

    • dug Says:

      to be clear, net nanny isn’t alerting on “ha ha.” it’s alerting on stuff like “giving out personal information, possible cyber predator” kind of stuff.

      but it’s the “ha ha” that’s really got me freaked out.

  4. bikemike Says:


  5. chad Says:

    Buttercup is marry’ Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour?

  6. bikemike Says:

    i do not thin he’s using the same wind we are using. ha ha.

  7. KanyonKris Says:

    Send a strongly worded letter to Net Nanny demanding a “ha ha” filter. (Ironic, or misused?)

  8. BM Says:

    Thats gotta be the most boring website ever.

  9. linfin Says:

    If I were one of your kids and I found out you used Net Nanny, that would be the perfect opportunity to deliberately try to find something on the Internet that would be really horrible and/or dirty, and see what would happen when you got your alert. ha ha

    • dug Says:

      well, first, I installed it with the kids in the room. it’s not stealthware. just trying to keep superhotbabeswhoarealsointobaseball out of my house.

      i forget what two was for.

  10. Steve The BigRide Says:

    When my kids retreat to the realm of safety they call their rooms. The space where the computers are plugged in, the radio is blaring, and the TV showing some dumb rerun, I knock and wait. As the door opens I stick my head in and remind them to turn off the lights because we want to reduce our carbon footprint. I then grab the flyrod and head to my fav fishing spot. Reduce I shall…

  11. dug Says:

    not to put too fine a point on it, but okay, i just logged onto facebook, which i generally don’t do, but anyway, i did, and saw my 12 year old commenting on another friend’s status, and he and his friend jack had this scintillating exchange:

    Holden: hahaha yeah we eat stuff like lucky charms and apple jacks hahaha

    Jack: oh yes haha thats some man food for ya haha

    i will now boil my own head.

    • JB Says:

      Make sure your kids are there to see it, so they can post something like, “lol! my dad just put his head in a pot of boiling water. hahaha”

  12. brian Says:

    Haha, j/k idk anything…

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