it’s about art

June 30, 2010

I snuck out last night for a quick tour (if an hour and a half is quick–is an hour and a half quick, short, standard, or long?) of Corner Canyon–up from the equestrian center, up Canyon Hollow, Brocks, down the newly remodeled Rush (which is just fantastic, by the way), up Ghost, and down Canyon Hollow, finishing with Creekview, which I’ve been mistakenly thinking was converted to a one-way down, but apparently isn’t, which was highlighted for me by my nearly taking out a nice couple exiting Creekview as I was railing the blind upper entrance. Whoops.

On my upper Canyon Hollow descent, which is full of major swoopy goodness, I tried to swoop and flow a little too much, and clipped a tree with my right shoulder which pushed me left and directly into the tree on the left side of the swoop.

The shoulder damage:

shoulder ouch

Yeah, sorry, don’t look at it for more than a second or two. Or less.

The tree on the right I hit with my shoulder, the tree on the left I hit head-on:

tree ouch

I pulled some bark out of my helmet, and my left brake lever is bent pretty good (or bad–yeah, probably bad), but otherwise both me and Orange escaped what might have been a nasty impalement.

Speaking of Orange, I think it’s time for an update, don’t you?

In short, Orange is awesome. I tend to gush a bit, and I’m trying to fix that, but with Orange I’m like Tom Cruise on the couch and Orange is like my Katie Holmes–I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it. Orange is the best bike I’ve ever had. Smooth, simple, light, strong, and sexy. The geometry is perfect (as it should be, I guess, since it’s custom and all), and I love the look.

Sabrosa John is an artist.

You know what’s funny, is people see Orange, they always compliment Orange, and then they say “How much does it weigh?”

Which, of course, reminds me of my favorite Northern Exposure episode. For those of you too young to remember, Northern Exposure is NOT just the Brigham City location of Southern Exposure, but is rather a rather great TV show from the 90s, set in a small Alaskan Town.

Maurice buys an expensive antique Augsburg clock (for like $100,000 if I remember right), which comes with an expert to assemble and tune it. Once the clock is assembled, Maurice and his friends stand around admiring it. Holling notices that the clock is a few minutes slow, and Maurice comes unglued, ranting that for that much money, the clock damn well better keep perfect time. The expert that came with the clock calls Maurice a philistine, and says he’s unworthy of such a fine work of art, and declares that he will be leaving and taking the clock with him.

That’s how it is with Orange. I haven’t weighed Orange, and I don’t plan to. It’s the wrong question. That would be like demanding that Maurice’s clock keep perfect time. It’s more than a bike, it’s a work of art.

But I will say this. I know that Orange weighs less than any other mountain bike I’ve ever had, but weighs more than Elden’s super custom super light superfly singlespeed.

It weighs enough and not too much. Kind of like the Millennium Falcon.

To paraphrase my mentor, Han Solo, “She’ll do the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs. She’s light (fast) enough for you, old man.”

To which you might respond, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. A parsec is a unit of distance, not time. I think.

Measuring is science. Mountain biking isn’t about science. It’s about art. The question is, do you love it? The answer is, hell yeah.

13 Responses to “it’s about art”

  1. KanyonKris Says:

    If you’re not rubbing (crashing), you’re not racing (mountain biking).

    Before Seinfeld there was Northern Exposure. Loved it. My favorite quote:

    Maurice: Look at it this way. For the most part, men are ruled by two things … their penis and their stomach. Now, those are concrete, tangible things. With women the situation gets much murkier. They’re motivated by all that right-brain emotional stuff. Love, hate, rage.

    Remember the piano fling? And the unstable but awesome cook, Adam? Of course you do.

  2. evilbanks Says:

    “For those of you too young to remember, Northern Exposure is NOT just the Brigham City location of Southern Exposure” <———that's funny, I don't care who you are. And I gotta agree, Orange is a great lookin' bike.

  3. mtb w Says:

    Hell, yeah! And now you got a beauty mark on your shoulder to back up this art.

    The science is before and after the ride (weighing, measuring, getting the right parts, etc) but during the ride, it is all about the flow, the feel and the art. Give me an amen!

  4. rick from KY Says:

    Regarding inappropriate units, there was an outer-space type show (I don’t remember the name, but it was definitely low-budget) where I once heard them say something like “they (the bad guys) are 15 microns away!” At least they did use a unit of length, rather than time, but photon torpedoes (or anything else really) at 15 microns is hardly a useful defensive posture.

  5. Derron T. Says:

    Dug, I have been secretly (or not so secretly) lusting for Orange since I first saw her in the nude (prior to paint). I just wanted to confess my sins publicly and let you know that I have not repented nor do I plan to. You sir are a lucky man. She is an absolute beauty! If someone asks you how much she weighs just say “A true lady never divulges her weight or her age.”


  6. Sweet…. NE and starwars in one post! glad your digging your new pony!!

  7. Nate Says:

    I like the photos. Its like a crime scene. You should get some yellow tape to carry around with you. Oh, and some chalk. For the record, I remember that show. My dad loved it.

  8. bikemike Says:

    When i’m grillin’ steaks, just before my final presentation, i’ll through a little parsec on ’em, just for color. I’m not that fond of the taste, though.

  9. BM Says:

    Your indifference to its weight may be because it is imbued with the soul of the artist who created it, and souls arent bound by gravity.

  10. cubsfarr Says:

    Remember the time I drifted wide right out of the sharp left and center-punched that tree leaving wood stuck between… Dug, you make me proud. And I want to see a photo of that shoulder on day three. And day six. You’re gonna look like a mood ring.

    About the weight thing — it’s like counting teeth when trying to rate the quality of a kiss.

  11. Louis Says:

    The Parsecs thing is distance, and is supposed to be. The Kessel Run is a course through a field of blackholes. Ships that maneuver well can hit the edges of the blackholes, bend space, and cut down the distance of the trip. Thus, it’s not the fastest time that makes you a badass, but the shortest distance… also means you got closest to the blackholes without being sucked in.


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