September 27, 2010
1. Do you say Icing or Frosting?
I say frosting. To those of you who used words like “pompous” (or “pompus”) to describe the use of either, well, you may want to look up the definition of pompous (or pompus).
I think I said Icing growing up in Minnesota. Some of you mentioned the whole “icing is thin, frosting is thick, glaze is blah blah blah.” I dunno. I don’t actually care about this answer, this question was just to get you warmed up.
In fact, I’ll tell you right now, I only really cared about the last question, but if I only asked that question you might not have participated. It’s like religion—if you don’t make people pay for it, they won’t take you seriously.
What? No, just kidding, I cared about all of the questions. To show you how much I cared about all of them, lets talk about the rest of them.
2. Do you say “On” accident or “By” accident?
Really this isn’t a debate. It’s By accident. Come on. ON accident? It makes my head buzz a little when I hear it.
But I’m fighting a losing battle on this one. There’s a research paper on this that says people 35 and older tend to say By accident, and those younger or with a serious head injury tend to say On accident.
And for the record, I’m the only one in my house who says By accident. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
3. Do you say Pop or Soda?
Clearly a regional question. I grew up in Minnesota. We not only said Pop, but we purchased crates of Pop at the local Pic a Pop and Pop Shoppe. I still remember the commercial where the mom asks her son “What are you putting on your cereal?” and the boy says “Orange pop, mom!”
If someone said to me now, do you say Soda or Pop, it would be Soda every time. But nobody ever says that to me. But they do say “Hey, you want a coke?” (I love people who say that to me.) And by coke, they know, if they’ve ever met me, that coke=Diet Coke.
And Rob (dug’s brother), when you say “I used to say “pop” in Canada,” do you mean, for one week every summer? You know. Since we lived in Minnesota. Not in Canada.
4. Prepositions. I threw this question in jus fer fun. Because it brings the crazies out (ha!). I’ll tell you straight up, I’m a Descriptivist, not a Prescriptivist. Except when I’m not.
And yet. And yet, I feel about prepositions kind of the same way I feel about Picasso or Jackson Pollock. And the Man from Snowy River.
Which is to say, before you get to end a sentence with a preposition, you need to spend a long time NOT ending sentences with prepositions. You need to know what a preposition is. You need to “go back to the low country and eaaaaarn the right to live in the mountains, just like yer fahther did!”
And then. And then you can do whatever the hell you want. Preposition-wise.
5. Do you care about what kind of vanilla you put in your cookies?
I get it—not everyone cares about vanilla. Not everyone cares about cookies either. Like Scott, who said “I don’t put unhealthy things in my body” (but then said “I drink Gatorade like it’s water.” What? He didn’t say exactly that? That’s what I heard in my head.)
But here’s the thing—I CARE ABOUT VANILLA.
That’s really what I want you to know about me. That’s what I want on my tombstone.
He Really Cared About Vanilla.
To those of you who care about vanilla—God bless.
To those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about—Go back to the low country.
To those of you who know the difference between good vanilla and what is euphemistically called “imitation vanilla extract” and yet still don’t care, who would rather save a few (dozen) dollars, who just plain stare at the sun and tell me it’s not shining?
You are like the dwarves in the stable at the end of The Last Battle. Enjoy that.