two random thoughts

November 19, 2010

It’s Friday, and I’ve got a couple random thoughts I thought I’d send out into the Ether.

Random Thought Number One: I went to the midnight show of Harry Potter last night with the family. I think it’s the first midnight movie I’ve seen since I saw Led Zeppelin’s The Song Remains the Same when I was in college. Which might be the worst (or best) midnight movie ever. That movie needs to be seen either at Noon or when you’re high as a kite (or both), not at midnight.

Random Thought Number Two: I just mixed and drank a protein shake. I keep a big protein shake mix bag in a drawer at my desk, and once or twice a week, when I work through lunch (yes, it happens), I suffer through it. Here’s how it goes:

1. Grab the giant blue cup, open the bottom drawer, open the bag, and throw two giant scoops of powder into the cup.

2. Head for the kitchen, and run a bit of water into the cup. Not too much water. See, protein shakes are gross. Putting lots of water in means I’ll just suffer through that much more grossitude. I’d rather put the bare minimum of water in the cup, mix it violently with a fork until it’s wet enough to slide, then just tilt my head back and cannonball it. BOOM!

3. Get inexplicable protein shake rim on my upper lip and forehead. This is, well, inexplicable. I slam the shake, rinse out the cup, and then notice that I’ve got something weird and annoying on the outside of my upper lip and the center of my forehead. Yes, I know, it’s not inexplicable HOW the rings got there. Duh, the cup pressed against my face.

But as I’m rinsing the cup, then washing it out with a paper towel, as I notice the inexplicable rings, I pause the cup rinsing to use the paper towel to wipe off the ring feeling on my face. But it won’t come off. It’s been 20 minutes now, and IT WON’T COME OFF! I keep wiping my face with my sleeve, but I still feel like I’ve got protein shake on my forehead and my lip. It’s like radiation sickness. I feel like the woman from Drag Me To Hell, I just can’t escape. I need help.

I realize that those are events, not thoughts, but I didn’t like the way it sounded when I wrote Two Random Events.

There you go. Welcome to my world.


19 Responses to “two random thoughts”

  1. KanyonKris Says:

    Thanks for the being dug Malkovich experience.

  2. Nate K. Says:

    You are weird. But then, we all ready knew that.

  3. Eric Says:

    Are the rings really there or in your state of panic do you think they are there?

    Straws – go to McDonalds, they have the high volume, sturdy ones there, and use 2 per serving.

    Hang in there.

  4. Rick S. Says:

    Nala would love to lick those rings off your face. Bring her to work with you.

    • dug Says:

      as soon as i can get nala to stop licking her butthole, i’ll start having her lick the rings off my face.

      but thanks.

  5. Scott Says:

    If you want to consume a lot of protein at once, can’t you just eat two energy bars? They don’t come in diet coke flavor though (mmm, bitter taste, yum yum).

  6. Emily Says:

    Get Muscle Milk protein powder! It is delicious, and it comes in tons of amazing flavors!
    Cake Batter, White Chocolate Mousse, Dark Chocolate, Mocha Latte, Mint Chocolate, Cookies ‘n’ Creme, Chocolate Malt, Brownie Batter, Strawberry Banana, and MORE!

  7. Jeff Says:

    This just sounds like you are using the wrong kind of protein shake. I drink All-Pro Science protein and love it. (And it doesn’t stain my face.)

  8. Steve the BigRide Says:

    I wish I had a slow Friday

  9. CB Says:

    ummm…am I the only sicko here who had some really disturbing thoughts when Dug wrote, “I still feel like I’ve got protein shake on my forehead and my lip”?

    I am? Oh…I’ll be leaving now.

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