point to where he touched you
January 11, 2011
I’m told that our company is relocating offices in the next month or two. I’m trying to avoid just hunkering in my double wide foxhole until that happens—life must go on, right?
Except, @#!*% . Sometimes it’s hard.
I got to work yesterday at about 7am. I do that now and again, depending on Ian’s need to go to weight lifting class or attendance school.
Well, on a Monday morning, at about 7:30, when I’m pretty much the only one here, I enjoy using the bathroom and taking care of what my stomach has been up to all weekend. (Is that TMI? That doesn’t seem like TMI. I’m trying to be sensitive here.)
So I walk into the bathroom, which has an automatic light switch, and this is what I see (actual photo):
Except it was darker.
The switch was mashed, not functional. In a panic, I put the trash can in the doorway, whipped out my phone, and did my business with the devil by the pale moon light.
You have to use an entire roll of TP under these circumstances due to the uncertainty. It’s a rule. Either that or wave your cell phone at awkward angles. And never use it again.
The bathroom fan has been broken for about two months. This door was propped open all day. I really feel sorry for whomever sits near this door.
Hey, wait. That’s ME! I sit near that door.
Turns out we blew a fuse somehow. Except, um, nobody can find the fuse box. But we are nothing if not resourceful.
Well, we’re short a few bulbs, if you know what I mean, but you know, we still have our cell phones. They’re pretty bright.
I’m not gonna lie–there were some incidents in the dark. The local wiki page that documents such happenings (sort of a company FML) had this to say:
The lights in the bathroom weren’t working because a fuse burned out. A garbage can was used to prop the door open to allow some light so people wouldn’t be completely in the dark. Throughout the day people came and went into the bathroom without incident, until XXX was at the urinal. A person (who shall not be named) urgently needed to pee and went into the dimly lit bathroom, unzipped, and approached the urinal. Without realizing it, he collided with XXX who was already micturating. XXX immediately elbowed them in the gut. As a result, YYY was asked to put a lamp in the bathroom to prevent any further incidences.
When the XYXY team heard about this, they all laughed heartedly and posed various scenarios. ZZZ reached for his Marvin the Martian plushy and asked, “point to the doll where he touched you.”
If this keeps up I may get Stockholm Syndrome. I’ll be like the dwarves at the end of The Last Battle. Or the little fly at the end of The Fly.
[Oh, wait, cancel that, I guess it says “HELF.”]