sign her what?

Let me be clear—I don’t really feel like I have a public. I expect there are about 50 people in the world who have ever been to this space more than a couple times. Most of them by accident, because they were searching for Muffintop pictures or something.

Which is why I was caught off guard the other day when someone, possibly the same someone who told me “hey, my wife loves your blog,” told me that his wife’s mother also reads (or has read) the blog. In particular the Open Mic Day post of a couple years ago.

And, in fact, she was in the building. And would like to meet me.

I was torn between fleeing the building and putting on giant FLY sunglasses.

I settled on just sitting there, while said friend’s wife approached with said friend’s mother in law.

We said some pleasant hellos and nice to meet yous, and then, because I just cannot refrain from making stupid jokes at all times and in all places, I said “well, I feel like I should sign something of yours.”

Without missing a beat, with really no hesitation at all, like maybe this was a conversation the woman and her mother had all the time, like, maybe when they were at a Cure concert or something, my friend’s wife blurted out “Sign her boob!”

Yes, her mother’s boob.

Oh, did I mention that we were at church? In the chapel?

The levels of awkward just got a new entry.

Of course, I pulled out a pen.