son of a . . .

September 1, 2011

One of the joys of aging is the arrival of bumps, growths, and other bodily anomalies that as a child you maybe thought were really cool, and even named and talked to, and as a middle aged adult, you wonder if it’s either Kuato, or something you should have removed because it signals the early onset of cancer, or perhaps a manifestation of Mary’s Face, in my face.

And thus, I visited the Dermatologist this morning, during which I had a kind of wimpy “40 Year Old Virgin” moment.

It went down like this: I pointed out the scary anomolies on my face that I (Kim) had identified. She (the dermatologist) said “Okay, well, this will sting just a little.”

And then she electrocuted my face about ten times.

Seriously. Buzz, followed by smell of burning flesh, followed by my eyes tearing up and overflowing, followed by me saying out loud “SONOFABITCH!” followed by her saying “yeah, sorry, you’re doing great.”

Am I?!!

But look–now I’m free of scary bumps and stuff on my face:

Wait. Dammit, I guess I need to go back.


20 Responses to “son of a . . .”

  1. MOCougFan Says:

    I prefer the dentist.

  2. stevebpt Says:

    wow, you swore at the doctor! AND she obviously expected that it would do more than “sting a bit”. I love it when docs say that. New rule, docs need these types of procedures that “sting a bit” done to them in med school so they can describe it a bit better, like “this will hurt like hell for just a moment” That would then entail an informed decision on my part to cooperate in the next venture. Just sayin.

  3. Nate Says:

    Maybe it IS your face?

  4. bikemike Says:

    a crummy commercial.

  5. wraps Says:

    Save your money.

    You’re also looking a little scary in the eyes. Utah drivers seem to have their own rules.

  6. KanyonKris Says:

    I’m looking for the singed spots in the photo, not seeing any. I guess you’re a quick healer. Have you also built up an immunity to iocane?

    • dug Says:

      turns out, day two is waaaay scarier than day one. i have an actual blister on my right eyelid, that runs the length of my eye.

      so i pop it? i really want to pop it.

  7. Ruprecht Says:

    I have done that. These dermatologists are lucky to get away with a couple curse words.

  8. Arnold Says:

    Kuatto lives. But not well.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    I count 3 movie references. Tommy Boy, Total Recall, and 40 Year Old Virgin. And a Johnny Cash song?

  10. KJ Says:

    Either we share a dermatologist, or they are ALL sadistic A-holes. Last name Jackman by any chance?

    • dug Says:

      while a-hole is the last word, or at least is near the bottom of the list of words i would use to describe my dermatologist, jackman is, in fact, the right name.

      but now i’m weirded out.

      • KJ Says:

        I know, she’s adorable! My husband even remarked (after a visit where she took a scalpel to his ear and then cauterized the wound) how he is surprised she isn’t married because she’s so sweet. I typically only think that when she is not zapping the crap out of my face, though.

  11. steve Says:

    Hmmm. Wait until it’s colonoscopy time and the old doc says “this might be a little uncomfortable”. Try slightly painful, DOC! Of course I suppose if they told the truth, then the pucker factor might weigh in.

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