cmon kita, don’t break his heart
September 6, 2011
I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love Rush, in all its phases.
Not that that would make a very interesting secret. In fact, what’s up with saying “I’ve made no secret of the fact that . . . ?” This will be the last time I use that phrase.
Anyway. That’s not why I’ve gathered y’all together this morning (or whenever you happen to read this).
The point is, I rode Rush a couple times this last weekend, and came across this:
It’s a series of signs that read, in order, if I remember right:
“Kita, will you be my girl for homecoming?”
Now, I don’t wanna get off on a rant here, or act like I’m 100 years old (although today IS my birthday), but really? What happened to calling a girl up, and stammering something like “um, er, you wouldn’t want to go to homecoming with me, would you?”
No. First, you have to create some elaborate Rube Goldberg method of asking someone out. The signs on Rush thing is actually pretty tame compared to some. Like scavenger hunts that involve plane tickets to Brazil, for example. And then to accept the date, you have to create an equally elaborate way to say YES (or, sadly, no). Like have Ron Paul deliver your answer, while driving a hay wagon.
And then the date itself. You can’t just go to dinner, then the dance. Noooooo. You have the Day Date. An early breakfast on the summit of timp, catered by the Sundance Tree Room staff. Then a little down time, followed by an Olympic Caliber Rope Course (nevermind that there are no ropes courses in the Olympics–just wait a year or two, or four). Then a giant limo that takes you and 20 of your closest friends to the Olive Garden for a very fancy meal of all-you-can-eat soup and salad.
And THEN the dance, where you don’t hang with your date, but rather with the Group. It’s like dating the Borg.
Oh, and THEN, to someone’s house for the after party.
Final bill? The GDP of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
Okay, deep breath. And some medication.
Where was I? Oh, right, someone asking Kita to be his girl.
Forget all that other stuff I said–any teenage couple who are BOTH riding Rush often enough to use it as a billboard for a homecoming date?
I’m all for it. Kita, don’t break his heart. We’re pulling for you kids.
As long as the day date is a tour of corner canyon.