200

January 2, 2012

Remember how Dave Chappelle went crazy after signing that huge Comedy Central contract, and went and hid in South Africa for a while? Well, he came back, right?

I hope it’s more like that, and not Leaving Las Vegas. Cuz Chappelle came back.

Not that I’m comparing myself to Chappelle. I mean, you know how sometimes people will relate some parable from the New Testament, and after a few seconds, you realize they are comparing themselves to Jesus? I’m not saying I’m Dave Chappelle. I’m just saying that I needed a break. 2011 was the year of the great Suck. Not all of it, but enough of it that I’m sticking with that title.

But instead of going to Vegas like Nicolas Cage, I made six thousand batches of chocolate chip cookies and in the end realized a dream/goal I’ve had for a very long time.

Behold:

a duece, duece and a half

I think I’ve always had 200 lbs in me, so to speak, but I had a weird epiphany the other day–weigh myself at NIGHT!

By morning I had lost 5 lbs. I really don’t know how that happens, but I hit the big 200, and nobody can take that away from me.

And tomorrow I have a root canal. Those are practically guaranteed to lose you five pounds. I’ll be back fitting in my spanx in no time.

Bonus Material

Okay, and here, lemme throw you a bone. This is the big stall in the work bathroom.

They say fences make good neighbors, but this? Really, what’s going on in there that requires that kind of privacy?

Wait, don’t answer that. Please.

 

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30 Responses to “200”

  1. Derron Tanner Says:

    First! Ok, sorry, that was really douchey. Great blog post! Good to have you back Dug!

  2. BM Says:

    WB! I read somewhere that you exhale 2lbs of water vapour while you’re sleeping. Factor in the pillow drool and that may explain it.

    Odddly enough, 200 was my goal for the end of the year. I ended up at 195–on my way from 235 to hopefully 170. Let me save you some vanilla and butter–200+ sucks!

    • dug Says:

      thanks BM. i think it’s the pillow drool that put me over the top.

      to be clear, it’s like touching the sky. i don’t want to stay there. but now i’ve touched it.

      • Anonymous Says:

        I probably thought the same thing…until one day I found myself looking down at the sky. Ground control to Colonel Sanders …

  3. mtb w Says:

    Good to have you back! I can tell 2012 will be a good year for you (provided the Mayans took a break, like you, while making their calendar but just never got back to finishing it. My theory is that it was a Mayan guy that was making the calendar but his wife told him to stop working on his hobby and finish the housework. Alas, he never could get back to finishing the calendar). After all, 200 is just a plain awesome goal to reach – welcome to the Clydesdales!

  4. Chris Says:

    Welcome to 200. It’s probably even better than the movie 300.
    Oh, and we’re all glad to you have you back.

  5. Jeff Says:

    I used to work at a bookstore, and judging by the magazines I’d find stashed in the men’s room there you don’t want to know what requires that kind of privacy.

    And congratulations for having the courage to actually step on a scale this time of year. I refuse to do so until my muffin top has been reduced from “giant 1,000 calorie size” to “mini muffin”.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    People are weird.

  7. KanyonKris Says:

    Good return post, I think. 200 isn’t exactly the feel good movie of the year. But I’ll take it, ’cause you’re back and that’s what matters.

    Splitting hairs, but you’re not quite to the 200 slash in the photo. Stay to the left.

    Yes, Anonymous, people are weird, and here we celebrate/analyze it.

  8. Eric Says:

    You are like a Phoenix.

  9. Rick S. Says:

    Dug- congrats. Impressive. Now go rent Rocky IV. (I don’t want to ruin it for you but Sly wins it in the end)

  10. Jonnie Says:

    200? Childs play. Lets talk when you’ve hit 210. Glad you made it back.

    • dug Says:

      jonnie, let’s talk that weird diet/exercise plan you did a few years back. didn’t you get down to like 150?

      course, no cardio. that might be a problem.

  11. cubsfarr Says:

    We could just start saying you’re big-boned, but then–

  12. Adventure Nell Says:

    Glad to have you back and it seems 2011 was a odd/sad/frustrating year for a lot of folks. Hugs to you and yours and lets make 2012 our b*tch 🙂

  13. Dianne West Says:

    Glad to have you back, Dug! I was going to have to change my
    home page if I saw “taking a break” one more time! Yes, there
    was something just odd about the number 2011 so welcome
    2012! I hope it’s a great year for us all!

  14. shelle Says:

    The year of the great suck…I can’t stop laughing.

  15. Sally Says:

    Didnt you just send Holden to my house to borrow chocolate chips, again….

    • dug Says:

      yes, yes i did. the year of the great Suck continues. it’s more of a fiscal year than a calendar year.

      thanks, by the way. all of my 200 lbs thank you.

  16. Anonymous Says:

    200 is impressive…but Sam says you’re nothing until you hit 223. We miss you.

  17. The Flyin' Ute Says:

    240!

    • dug Says:

      yeah, but you’re like 6’7″.

      i’ve hit my target weight, but like manny from modern family, i haven’t hit my target height yet.

  18. Mary from NC Says:

    so glad you are back!!! My mantra for 2012 is “The dog days are over”….speaking of which something you need to see to blow your mind away….youtube….and then search jennye butterfly dog days are over….

  19. Steve Says:

    Big boned, 200 lbs and STILL no butt.


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