May 24, 2012

Mostly I hear the word “crickets” in the context of telling a joke, and then hearing, you know, crickets. As in, silence.

This week I made a quick trip back east for a conference, and, to take a cue from Jim Gaffigan, after we ate, we set up a place to eat, and then we went and got something to eat.

And by something, I mean crickets.

Well, not just crickets. We also had tongue tacos. And the most delicious guacamole I’ve ever tasted.

pretty good food. except for that weird one on the right

But the crickets stole the show. On account of them being disgusting.

those are all arms and legs in there. and mole

John and I figured, we’d order lots of stuff, like scallops, quesadillas, and other yummy stuff, and in the middle of it, we’d try the crickets.

Because when a swanky Mexican restaurant puts Cricket Tacos on the menu, I mean, you have to order them. Don’t you?

Yes, yes you do. So we did.

ready to kill any crickets that might still be moving.

All I kept thinking was “Grab my arm.  The other arm. My other arm.” That’s how it works in my head.

not as awesome as i’d hoped

Let’s have a post mortem for the crickets.

Attractive presentation. Terrible taste. Gross texture. Not for eating. Nice novelty factor. Can’t believe people really eat crickets.

So, A-

18 Responses to “crickets”

  1. tnosredna Says:

    Wow! If that breakdown equates to an A-, you must run quite the party school!

  2. Steve Says:

    Dude, JUST SAY NO!!!! Did you learn nothing from your experience with the peer pressuring father in law? Weird, disgusting food is just that! Stop it, or I’ll bury you a wooden box!

    • dug Says:

      you know how i have this correction disease?

      i gave a presentation to about 200 IT people this week, and i sprinkled a cloud of movie references into the presentation. and i used one in particular from pee wee’s big adventure, and i said “you know how pee wee asked dottie about her big butt?”

      an attendee came up afterward to tell me liked my presentation, to ask questions, and then to correct me. “i liked the reference” he said. “but it was simone, not dottie.”

      of course i was absolutely mortified.

      but what i’m really getting at is that the line is “Stop it or I’ll bury you alive in a box!”

      • tnosredna Says:

        Ooooh, I thought that Steve was being NICE and offering to build you a TIme Capsule! (everyone should have one, it’s the ultimate in “I’m awesome paraphernalia!”)

        But NO, he’s actually a very bad man!! (speaking of, anyone seen “Vanished”? He ALSO was a very bad man. Imagine the kind of sickness it would take to cause a man to do such a thing to Sandra Bullock!!)

      • Rob (Dug's brother) Says:

        for those who aren’t quite following, here’ s the ref url:

  3. BM Says:

    Do exoskeletons have marrow?

  4. jruss Says:

    do you ever let go of the diet coke while eating, or was that simply a precautionary position?

  5. mark Says:

    I’d hit that.

  6. Bikemike Says:

    I do the same thing with beef. If that cow has any intentions of coming back to life, it’ll have to burst out of my chest, first.

  7. Melba Smutpucker Says:

    Did they wash the little feet of the crickets before you ate them? Think where those little feet have been, all six of them.

    • dug Says:

      i dunno. they were crickets. i figure, it’s like, it’s already to 11. how much blacker can it get? none, none more.

  8. Brandon Banks Says:

    You, my friend, are a brave man.

  9. Six Says:

    You are a deeply disturbed man Dug. I once ate a cricket but it was totally an accident (at least I sincerely hope it was only a cricket because it hit the back of my throat at 65 mph on my motorcycle and I immediately swallowed it whole. Never open your mouth while you’re riding). I think voluntarily consuming a cricket taco qualfies you for the Civilian Medal Of Gustatory Intrepidity. I’ll send over the nice men with the jacket with arms that tie in the back to award it.

    You’re welcome. I will never kiss you again.

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