not crazy at all

January 24, 2013

Yay me. I have discovered a new permutation of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. My last discovery centered around the su . . . er, around the process of drying oneself after a shower.

In a nutshell, the discovery was this: You can dry yourself in order, but you can’t KNOW the order of the drying. Simple, yet crazy.

So last night, I was leaving work, got in the elevator, which was a bit crowded and cramped, and then tried to put on my jacket.

Well, I was blocked to my right, so I put on the left sleeve first. And then I froze. “Ahhh! I can’t find my other sleeve. I’m trapped in my jacket, help.”

Bile rising, panic setting in, I bit my lip until we reached the ground floor and I could burst into the hallway and take off my left sleeve, and put on my jacket properly, right sleeve first. I hesitate to describe the process for fear of violating Dug’s Uncertainty Principle, but it’s like this:

  1. right arm in.
  2. swing jacket around the back, while left hand reaches behind looking for the armhole.
  3. push left arm through.
  4. shrug the jacket up to the shoulders.

See? Perfectly rational. Not crazy at all.

Just don’t screw it up.

7 Responses to “not crazy at all”

  1. jruss Says:

    some fellers dress left.

    i catch myself counting buttons all of the time when i put on shirts. uh oh, fifteen minutes to judge wapner.

  2. Bikemike Says:

    You have eyes in your left hand? Cool.

  3. kanyonkris Says:

    I don’t have the panic reaction donning a jacket left-armed, but it sure aint pretty. Lot’s of stabbing around with the right arm trying to find the sleeve (sometimes I give up), awkward shrugging the jacket up, and lots of wriggling before the jacket feels like it’s on right. It’s not me, the right jacket sleeve is smaller, I’m sure of it.

  4. BM Says:

    What happens if you get a flat on the way to work? And then what if your phone rings just as you get the car jacked up?

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