my (mostly) empty brain
December 13, 2010
I was having an IM conversation with a friend the other day, and he mentioned having to make some momentous decision. So he said “I guess I need to be alone with my thoughts for a while.”
Of course I immediately responded with “Do you do that with your right hand or your left hand?”
Of COURSE I did. Why? Because that’s what Gordie said to Teddy in Stand By Me. A movie made 25 years ago.
I can’t explain it. It’s like food that sticks to your ribs. Sort of.
For example, Kim’s and Ian’s birthdays are in March. March 4th and 8th.
And I cannot remember whose is which. Seriously. I mix them up all the time.
Like when I’m at the doctor’s office, and they want to make sure I’m authorized to pick up Kim’s MRI. And they ask me for Kim’s birthday. And I get it wrong.
I always say it confidently and then carefully watch the receptionist’s face to see if I’m right or not. If they squinch up their face I immediately say “I mean March 8th—Ha ha, sorry, sorry, I was distracted, there was a bee.” (Which is a line from another movie—plus 500 for knowing which.)
Just one of those things. The nooks and crannies of the mind (my mind) are dark and mysterious. And mostly empty.
dug 
December 13, 2010 at 10:00 am
I’m going with Tommy Boy for the movie.
December 13, 2010 at 11:09 am
great movie, but no.
the exact quote is “there was a bee.” it’s something i say to maddy when i do something stupid, freak out, or bump into something.
if you’ve actually SEEN this movie, plus 500 more.
December 13, 2010 at 11:21 am
Ever After? I cheated, I googled. But I have seen the movie (more than once, we have it on DVD) and now remember the scene.
December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm
ding ding ding.
it’s a guilty pleasure. nobody plays calm evil like angelica huston.
December 13, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Woohoo! 1,000 points. If it’s like ChuckECheese that’s enough for a plastic spider ring.
Yes on guilty pleasure (in my defense I have 3 daughters). And yes on Angelica.
And even though I don’t like Drew Barrymore, I have to admit I like what she did with this role.
December 13, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Love that movie – must have seen it 200 times in college.
“Dude, I just puked on an anthill. I think they’re pissed.”
December 13, 2010 at 10:50 am
For a couple years I was certain that my wife’s birthday was April 13th. I even bought her a present one year. It’s actually August 8th, but anyone could mix those two dates up, right?
December 13, 2010 at 11:10 am
dan, i mix up those two dates ALL THE TIME. what is it about april 13 and august 8?
weird.
(also, hey, how the hell are you?)
December 13, 2010 at 11:15 am
I’m right there with you, dug. I can quote Seinfeld for hours, but wife or kids birthdays I have to think real hard and at best it’s an 80% probability. It’s not me, it’s physics: the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
December 13, 2010 at 11:19 am
I once asked my wife where we got married. Not when. Where.
December 13, 2010 at 11:40 am
I’ll need to see x-rays, scars or a police report as proof of this.
December 13, 2010 at 11:50 am
My erstwhile wedding anniversary and my (radiohead loving) sons birthday are on the same day. Its either the 21st or 22nd.
I have google so I’ll just take the 500 whatevers. How many do I need to win, anyway?
December 13, 2010 at 1:19 pm
it’s 500 points. and due to inflation and all that, you need 500,000,000 to win.
December 13, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Don’t feel bad, Rob can’t even remember the dates of his kids birthdays. But on that same thought, is yours the 5th or 6th? I often get that wrong. And the movie was Aladdin.
December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm
rob! (said with disgusted voice).
the 6th. thanks for asking.
and nope. see answer above.
December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm
My brother and his wife share the exact same birthday (June 4). Their fist year of marriage he forgot his own birthday and therefore forgot hers too. Now that’s the way to start a marriage!
December 13, 2010 at 2:48 pm
the empty space in my mind is so big, it’s where i store all of my old LP records.
December 13, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Walkin’, Talkin’ Jesus. Where’d ya get that?
December 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm
birthdays, split the difference.
December 14, 2010 at 7:16 am
The space between where my thoughts generate and when they get spoken are like a car wash. They come out cleaner. Sometimes the car wash is out of order.
December 14, 2010 at 10:20 am
My whole family has birthdays in May. Me the 2nd, dad the 4th, mom the 25th, gramps the 30th. I have one sister on May 30th as well, and another sister on the 31st, but I also cannot ever remember which sister goes with which day. And let’s not forget Mother’s Day too. So I am always broke in May and struggling to remember what dates go with what people.
December 14, 2010 at 2:09 pm
When I’m talking to you, and you quote a movie line and look at me knowingly as if I’m supposed to have a) seen the movie and b) remember 100% of the dialogue, I’m not sure who of us is more frustrated, me for not knowing or you for having a friend that doesn’t know. I didn’t expect a kind of Spanish inquisition…
December 14, 2010 at 2:17 pm
that’s because nobody expects . . . oh, you know the rest.
right?
December 14, 2010 at 3:17 pm
mark, it’s probably the suprise or the fear…it could be the ruthless efficiency.
December 14, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Careful, Dug can sense fear and smell blood in the water.
I get 500 pts!!! I have seen that movie though I can’t remember the bee part.
December 14, 2010 at 9:25 pm
dug (Cardinal Fang?), that was the perfect reply. Gave me a good laugh. Did you guys set that up? mark, you have promise as a straight man (in the comedy sense).
December 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Where is the part of a 15 year old boy’s brain that makes him do stupid stuff for $5? Or is it empty in that place that should say “no thanks, i’m not rubbing bengay there for any amount of money”
December 15, 2010 at 8:30 am
I’ll give you 500 points if you name names.
December 15, 2010 at 12:24 pm
That part of the brain doesn’t develop that early in most boys and some men. Sorry. Blame it on physiology. Then laugh like crazy.
January 14, 2011 at 10:32 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who does that. I get James and Jeff’s birthday mixed up all the time.