six

February 19, 2009

I have more questions about certain daily rituals and habits, but Kim has requested fewer bathroom posts. So today I write about the number Six. Six is the number.

I don’t know why I love the number six, but I do. Whenever my kids ask me one of those random questions kids ask, like “Dad, how many miles till we get to San Diego” or “How much snow do we have in our backyard” or “Dad, guess what?” I invariably answer “Six!”

It’s a hoot. I guess you have to be there.

But since I moved to Suncrest almost 4 (not six) years ago, I’ve become less enamored of the number six, namely because in less than 4 years I’ve received SIX tickets from the local police, within my local environs. In fact, I think you could see my house from each location.

I’m not a rebel. I’m not a crazy driver. I’m as normal as apple pie, steady like the tide. And yet, I’ve had more tickets in the last 3.5 years than in the 15 previous combined, by large margin.

You judge:

1. On the North side of Suncrest, a 4 mile, 10% 4 lane road. I generally go about 55mph or 60mph down the hill, because I’ve replaced my brakes too many times in the last 4 years.

Unfortunately, the speed limit on this luge run is FORTY miles per hour. The cop was actually apologetic about giving me my ticket for going 62.

2. I dropped the kids off at the ski bus in Alpine, and promptly got pulled over for rolling a stop sign. At 7:30am on a Saturday. I’m pretty sure there were no other cars around for about a mile. This guy was a prick. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” I love that. As I was answering, the ski bus rolled the stop sign next to us, and all the kids in it were hanging out the window looking at me. Yay me.

3. The south side of Suncrest isn’t quite as steep as the north side, but it’s also way easier to just let it roll, especially on a motorcycle. Although, this day I wasn’t on a motorcycle. But I can hit 50mph on my bicycle without trying too terribly hard on the last curve into the straightaway at the bottom, and in a car, well, it’s hard NOT to go 60. But the city limit sign is just after the curve. And a half mile farther down, in a side street, the cop sits with his laser gun. He got me from almost a mile away. I need a cloaking device.

4. Last Spring, just as the weather turned nice again, I broke out the motorcycle for the long commute to work. Yes, before I had registered the damn thing. Oh, and before I had re-activated my insurance. But jeez, first time out.

On the return commute, CLIMBING the north side, last curve before the summit, he got me. He went on and on about how he should be impounding my bike, but because HE was a motorcycle guy, he was going to just give me like 3 tickets. I say, if he WAS a motorcycle guy, he’s not anymore.

5/6. Within a month of each other, south side, two consecutive stop signs (different days), I go down to Highland to pick up the kids from friends’ houses, and I get busted for rolling stop signs. Both times, after 10pm, which is an hour after most people in Utah go to bed. The first guy says “you stopped, but only after you saw me,” which, in my book, still means I stopped. Except I hadn’t really, but what, was he making small talk? Shut up and give me my ticket, I’m not you’re friend. And the second guy says “um, I reviewed the video tape, and you definitely didn’t stop.”

Reviewed the video tape? They have instant replay now? That tears it, I’m totally getting myself a challenge flag.

22 Responses to “six”

  1. bikemike Says:

    it’s a good thing they didn’t catch you peeing on the side of the road. (sorry kim, i couldn’t resist)

  2. mark Says:

    I hate tickets. This morning I was in a HUGE rush to get to the canyon and went way faster than normal. Was paranoid about tickets the whole time, even though it was before 5:00 a.m. Although I did go the wrong way through the roundabout by the temple. But that’s more because it’s fun and kinda feels good than because it saves time.

  3. Bob Says:

    you know what keeps me from getting tickets?

    A Warrant, that’s what.

  4. Simón Says:

    Get your head on a swivel. And when riding with passengers, they need to get their swivel on!

  5. fish Says:

    I forget what six was for.

  6. BotchedExperiment Says:

    You so nearly stopped that he has to watch a tape to confirm that you did, in fact, NOT stop??? I call BS.

  7. Rob Says:

    No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody’s comin’ up with 6…7’s the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that’s the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin’ on a branch, eatin’ lots of sunflowers on my uncle’s ranch. You know that old children’s tale from the sea. It’s like you’re dreamin’ about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie time, baby.

  8. rachel Says:

    Try 3rd gear going down the north side. You’ll get close to 50, but that’s about it. Of course, on the south side I don’t even reach 40 in 3rd gear, which is annoying, but I’m not pressing on the gas, either. Am I going to blow my transmission or something?

  9. Kt Says:

    Rachel, you might want to watch the rpms– don’t over-rev the engine, it will cause problems later (voice of experience!)

    Dug, I would so love to see you throw the challenge flag at a cop. 🙂

    And yeah, if he had to review the tape to see if you had or had not stopped, then it was too close to tell and he should have just gone with “yeah he stopped”. Lame. Lame. Lame. 🙂

  10. steveA Says:

    Rob-what the crap are you on and can I have some!!

    Dug-I’ll trade you living locations!

  11. tohellandback1st Says:

    no pics?

  12. Jeff Says:

    I hope my wife doesn’t read this. She’s always giving me grief for “rolling stops”. I tell her nobody gets ticketed for “rolling stops.”

    Now you’ve gone and proved me wrong.

  13. b_banks Says:

    6-6-6……….the number of the beast, don’t f*ck with the number 6.

  14. BurkeInTheOzarks Says:

    I see what you did here. You ever-so-subtly answered my question as to why on earth you would ever “drop trou” anywhere other than the Magic Toilet.

    But now I get it.

    6.

    That’s a lot.

  15. steveA Says:

    Back to the bathroom

  16. Flyin' Ute Says:

    It is so annoying to be behind people who “stop”. Most people just “Pause” as they should.

    Coppers need to stop harrassing us good, all-american, apple-pie boys!!

    Yeah, my number is 18!!!

  17. Trip Says:

    well, as a cop, i would say, Slow Down! We enforce the laws for a reason, now i don’t ever write tickets for “rolling stops”, but I know plenty of officers that do.
    But c’mon you don’t slow down because you don’t want to wear out your brakes. I would love to hear that excuse, I would play that comment back for the judge.
    I live in virginia though, maybe cops out your way have different viewpoints

  18. evilreview Says:

    I have something like that “6” thing, except for me it’s a letter: M. I find reasons to answer with “The Letter M” all the time.

    “Why is it so hot today, Dad?”

    “Because the letter M has decreed it must be so.”

    You and I are AWESOME fathers.

  19. dug Says:

    trip, it looks like cops out my way are pretty much just like cops out your way. if 6 tickets in less than 4 years, all within 4 miles of my house are any indication.

    thanks for the pep talk.

  20. VaLene Says:

    I’d hate to pay your auto insurance!! Maybe it can’t be worse than having a teenage male driver with one accident on the record. Next time you see Brent, ask him what his fool proof trick is for not getting tickets.
    (He’ll say, “don’t speed”)

  21. KanyonKris Says:

    Doesn’t take Frued: 6 = sex.

    Approximately 2 tickets per year? Not fun.

    Wouldn’t a luge or bobsled run and chairlift work better for Suncrest? Park you car / motorcycle at the bottom.

  22. erol Says:

    don’t even get me started telling stories about cops. absolute doosh bags. i dont kno what comes first, all dooshes become cops (likely not possible becuz DMV workers are all dooshes), or all cops become doshes. likely the latter. leave it to a cop (eg. trip, likely named such because he trips over the load he drops when i tell him he’s a doosh BEFORE he writes me a ticket) to tell dug to slow down. if we hav to pay your stupid fines so you can pay for your doughnuts and gay porn, we shouldn’t have to listen to your dribble on dugs blog. f-off


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