fat boy pour

It wasn’t enough that I finally got on the scale last week and realized that I had gained 10 lbs since September. This for a guy (me) who hasn’t varied more than 5 lbs in like 10 years, up or down. When I’m skinny, I’m closer to 180 than 185. When I’m fat I’m closer to 190 than 185.

Getting on the scale and seeing that my personal housing bubble had finally burst did not deter me.

But I think I’ve found the cure. Just now, I’m sitting in my office, staring dejectedly at my laptop screen. I’ve had the munchies all afternoon, following a delicious Pho lunch. I’ve resisted going into the break room, helped by a sign on the door that said “Do Not Disturb, You Are Fat.” Okay, it didn’t say that, but it did say “Meeting in Progress.”

So I didn’t buy a butterfinger. Instead, I rummaged through all the desk drawers in my double wide cubicle. And found a bag of Sun Chips that was almost gone. I tilted the bag over my head and opened my mouth. And took a pile of chip debris all over my face.

Just in time for a co-worker to walk in. He shook his head sadly and said “Dude. Not the Fat-Boy-Pour.”

Elden, if you’re out there, I need your full series dvd set of 24–I’ve got some spin-bikin to do.